by Erin Ensinger
Amani always attended ministry conferences without his wife. His denomination invited pastors only, and Naomi didn’t seem interested in his ministry anyway. At home, Naomi despaired of ever feeling close to Amani. In ten years of marriage, they never spent time together, just the two of them, away from the interruptions of children, house chores, and hectic ministry schedules.
“We simply do not have time for one another,” Naomi summarized their marriage. “We live together but we are not together.”
ABH required pastors to bring their wives, however, to the June 2025 Hope for Marriage Conference in Singida, Tanzania. ABH provided conference guests with four nights in a hotel and three meals each day of the conference— the closest thing to a honeymoon many of these couples had ever enjoyed. In the uninterrupted quiet, Naomi experienced the miracle of forgiving her husband from her heart.
“I was able to extend forgiveness to everyone else who wronged me but when it came to my husband, it was a struggle,” Naomi confessed. “I think I was in so much pain that I did not know how to communicate it to him since we did not have time or knowledge of how to communicate effectively.”
During the conference sessions, ABH speakers taught through the book Hope for Marriage by ABH President Fran Geiger Joslin. Hope for Marriage encourages couples to “build a marriage that preaches” as they learn to forgive one another, partner together as equals, and cultivate attitudes of service and submission. Board President Howard Joslin also taught from his first book in the Bible for Learning series, God’s Perfect World. This book covers Genesis 1-2, including God’s plan for the very first marriage.
Instead of simply hearing about the Bible, Amani and Naomi learned how to study the Bible for themselves. Howard and Fran taught them to ask seven questions about each passage: who? what? why? where? when? how? how many? They practiced searching for repeated terms and action words to discern what the passage reveals about God and how people should respond to him.
“It is not just a marriage conference but the delivery of the materials, read verse by verse, and letting the Scripture speak for itself in a way that every one of us in the conference would see for ourselves,” Amani said of the conference’s impact.
While learning how to study the Bible, Amani and Naomi also witnessed a valuable example of how couples can work together in ministry. They watched Howard and Fran teaching the sessions together as equal partners who submit to one another. Their example ignited Naomi’s desire to serve in the church with Amani by teaching a women’s group.
“This has brought so much life to me and the church at large,” Amani said.
Naomi feels especially determined to help wives who struggle with forgiveness as she did before the conference. She gathered a dozen wives who regularly confide their struggles and taught them the conference material, seeking Amani’s input on their difficult questions.
Naomi now experiences a new oneness in her marriage as she serves with Amani rather than observing his ministry as an outsider.
“We see the need for a marriage conference at our church,” Naomi said. “We are praying and planning to have one before this year’s end.”
(Names were changed to protect privacy.)