Happy Valentine’s Day?

By Fran Geiger Joslin

Asked to write a story about my husband and me, I consider the topic a difficult one on this day. Like any other holiday, Valentine’s Day draws many emotions for me. I could brag about the love I share with Howard and tell our crazy love story, but my gut throws me in another direction.

I feel the gamut of emotions on Valentine’s Day. I feel grief because my dad died on February 14. This celebratory day exists as a death anniversary for me. I also feel sad because my first husband spends this holiday—and every other day—in heaven instead of here with me.

I feel joy and thankfulness, however, over the fact that the Lord granted me a new husband who loves me dearly. I find myself immensely blessed, and usually by the end of the day (after wrangling with all of the other emotions), I can turn my attention to the gift of Howard and enjoy time with him.

Don’t you love how our society picks a day and names it for something in order to spur our economy, yet with seemingly no thought given to the emotions it provokes in millions?

Many singles often sense pressure to jump into a relationship—sometimes any relationship—to avoid the pain of being alone on the day someone else decided they should celebrate love. They feel left out on this day our culture tells us to bask in the joys of love, and failure becomes the tag line.

Widows and widowers suffer enormous loss and find themselves reeling yet again, silently screaming for equilibrium, and begging the day to end.

Still others rejoice over their love, celebrate it voraciously, and post it all over Facebook for the world to see.

We all enjoy a good love story, but many avoid the topic when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I know people who stay far away from social media altogether on this Day. It seems to them like a competition. Who loves whom more?

My son tells me he wants a woman who understands his love for her 365 days a year. He thinks it’s ridiculous to set aside one day a year to declare your love for each other. Love should shine all year long. What a brilliant child!

So, what do we do with this date on the calendar? If you know me at all, you understand my penchant for authenticity. I encourage people to embrace the truth. Feel whatever you feel and respond accordingly—on any day of the year—as long as you manage your emotions without hurting others.

If Valentine’s Day strikes you with pain:

• Avoid social media, find some trusted friends to hang out with, or hide altogether.
• Throw your own “singles” party or watch a sad movie—whatever helps you survive.
• I give you permission to bask in the sadness for a day.
• Try not to despise those who celebrate love, however. Hang on for February 15, which arrives as a brand new day without all the messy strings attached.

If you find yourself blessed with love, celebrate it! Gush over it. Tell him or her how much they mean to you. Go out to dinner if you can find room at a local restaurant. Enjoy the romance. Participate and revel in your relationship, thanking God for His marvelous gift—unless, of course, you choose to celebrate it 365 days a year instead.

But, please, consider the feelings of others. We can express Christlike love to others by choosing to celebrate our own romantic love privately.

Remember the “Love Chapter?”

Love:

• is patient
• is kind
• does not envy
• does not boast
• is not proud
• does not dishonor others
• is not self-seeking
• is not easily angered
• keeps no record of wrongs
• does not delight in evil
• rejoices with the truth
• always protects
• always trusts
• always hopes
• always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Bottom line? However you decide to celebrate Valentine’s Day, as long as your actions fall into the categories above by putting other people’s needs above your own, you choose well.

Ponder this: What emotions spring from you on Valentine’s Day?

*Originally posted on FranGeigerJoslin.wordpress.com in 2016.